So recently, I have been having conversations with girls and the topic comes up about kind of informal relationships. See I am pretty much a jerk about this whole thing because I am not real big on fake titles and formality but that's a pretty long discussion that usually gets me cussed out so I will have to write that out later. My point right now is that after a little prodding or whatever you will find a fair number of girls that say that they don't believe in formal relationships either and are even down for physical relationships, but... and here is the kicker, if they are going to have sex with someone it has to be monogamous...
Now I know, that doesn't sound like to much to ask in the world of STDs and AIDs, however it has recently led me to wonder if that is a common expectation. My issue being that if you are only having sex with one person that you are in a relationship with that one person. it gets particularly convoluted when one attempts to say that are in a monogamous sex only relationship. No, you are in a dysfunctional relationship. A few facts, if you are "just having sex with someone." you need to be pursuing other relationships. If you are not trying to honestly date someone and the only man or woman in your life is your fuck buddy, then you are just in an unhealthy relationship.
Furthermore, what is the point of saying that you are cool without placing formal restraints or interpretations on your relationship and saying people are open to dating other people if the physical aspect has to be monogamous? My point being that if you are that uncomfortable with your physical partner sleeping with other people, you are really that uncomfortable with that person dating other people. Just admit that, there really isn't anything wrong with that, just be honest. Too often people sign on to bullshit in relationships cause they are trying to be cool, or whatever they perceive as cool. The problem is the more your put that shit out there you will meet some man or woman who will call you on your shit and then you are stuck. But once that happens, we get people still attempting to be cool, but by adding rules that they believe sound rational, but actually sort of defeat the purpose of the entire arrangement. Once again this sort of works, until they meet some ignant nigga like me who calls them on the basic irrationality of their request, or some other dude who is willing to lie, because its not really cheating if you agree you are not exclusive, you just kind of violated a provision, and who can really fault you for violating a provision?
Mind you this is not an argument saying that you should let your partner bone everybody, cause please believe folks be having that shit... I am just saying be honest with yourself and everyone else about what you want. If you want a dude to buy your dinner and maintain you, but have no rights or say so over where you go and what you do, give it a shot. If all you really want is a chick on the side to be your back up when your date or the club aint jumping but you really gotta go there, hey... Even if it seems grimey, you might as well ask... :o)
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