Ok, so basically, I have a few female friends that are fam, and I pretty much try to get them to raise their expectations... Its funny because there are so many women that I meet that I figure are smart and the whole nine, but they take too much bullshit off of dudes, so for my wonderful readers I will drop my basic advice to my sisters, so you can pretty much consider yourself fam... or at least an adopted half cousin, because after all, even though, I as a dude like bust downs as much as the next guy, I don't really want to be known for hanging with them...
1. Raise your expectations, if you are over 25 and the "man" in over 25 he should be working or in GRAD school. Period. If you have a doctorate he should be working on a masters at least, or be making a decent amount of money or be at a decent point in his career, have a passion or something. I'm not saying you can't date a teacher but hell if he wants to really teach he needs some extra degree at a certain point so fuck it, make it be so. Be very cautious with "self employed" cats. If they are not in a real field they are un-employed, working in real estate and having a real estate hustle is not the same thing.
2. I meet a bunch of girls who say that they don't like to let men buy them drinks because they don't want to talk to them. Get off of that bullshit. I mean hey, I am a full proponent of not using guys that come at you correctly, but if a dude is trying to buy your time there is nothing wrong with telling him he did not spend enough. Case in point, if you really want to be "fair" if you are a lawyer at a big firm in your first year they are likely charging out $250 for an hour of your time, which means that the $12 drink is worth about 2.5 of your minutes, which he prolly wasted with the dumb ass convo asking if you wanted something to drink, and definitely waiting to order it and get it made, therefore you have fulfilled your duty, so keep it moving and feel no guilt. Next time, they will step their shit up and try to give you a reason to speak to them outside of alcohol, or dinner or whatever they are trying to bribe you with.
3. Understand that there is only one type of good first date... a thoughtful one. Basically, the only good cheap first date would be if the dude knows you and is putting together something that he has some reason to believe that you would like even though it is inexpensive. Otherwise you need to put a minimum on what dude spends on the first date. Forget what anyone tells you, what a man spends on you financially is a direct reflection of what he thinks of you. I don't mean in actually money of course, but for instance, if a brotha with $300 spends $200 bucks on you it means more than if a brothat with $5000 spends $800. Not trying to tell you to be gold diggerish, but factually, for a first date a man would spend s decent amount of money to show that he is interested. He may not break the bank but he would not be cheap with you. Fact is that any grown ass man with a job that is serious about you should be able to take on $60 to try to make an impression. If he won't spend any money he ain't that serious about you, at least not yet. Fact is that there has to be some thought, there has to be some attempt to impress you or its bullshit.
4. Don't fall for them triflin ass excuses, Men really aren't stupid... and if the particular one that you are messing with IS that stupid, perhaps there needs to be a touch of reassessment about the type of people you are dealing with.
5. Dumb ass sex rules are stupid. Be grown enough to go with the flow. If you are not comfortable you are not comfortable. That is perfectly fine, when you bust out the "girlfriends" 3 month rule or something stupid like that you see like a recovering dick addict trying to get over your whoreish ways with arbitrary guidelines, in which case we decide that we hate you, but put in the three months just not to waste the work we have already done. Because now that we know you follow arbitrary rules its sort of hard to respect you. Be grown enough to make your own decisions.
6. Be woman enough to say what you on. There is a thin line between the cute outfit and that fishing gear (trying to catch something). If you trying to catch one, admit it, at least to your people, just don't drag the bottom of the lake. I'ma feel the same way about you that you would feel about me if you saw me making, the 300 lb ugly chick with red weave and fishnet stocking on. (*sidenote, If you see me with that chick you know I have had waaay too much Hennessey and at that point prolly some hypnotiq and I expect those of you who actually call yourselves my friends to by any means necessary pull me away from that shit.)
7. last but not least, that psycho jealous shit aint cute... When you are an educated sister and you have to seriously plan for your man's probation, or make sure he ain't packing before you will be seen speaking to another dude in the street you prolly need to reassess your shit. I know you love that "thug love" or whatever the hell dumb ass reason you told yourself it made since to be dating Young Buck but let that shit go. It kills me when i see a chick from grad school talking about her drug dealing ass man, lawd...
And yeah, before you ask I really do talk to my female friends like this, but they love me for somewhat unknown reasons anyway, and hell, its the double truth.... Ruth...
No comments:
Post a Comment