So my boy Zave had his blogs about different types of women but it made me remember how many different types of women either my friends or I have had bad dates with so I figured I'd post this up as a warning to women to be wary when they turn into this and then wonder why there was no next date. (*disclaimer: yes I realize that this is pretty mean, but…)
Ms. CAN'T READ THE MENU- is a fairly common chick unfortunately. This chick acts like she has no common sense even if she has multiple degrees, and tends to show her ass and get confused if you take her to a restaurant that does not serve chicken fingers. Number one question, "why you take me to this bougie spot?"
Ms. POUTER- is the girl who has her mind made up what she likes and does not like and if you take her anyplace where she is not 100% comfortable in 5 minutes she pouts her ass off until she has ruined the night for the both of you. The bonus about the pouter is that after she has pouted her way out of something new like a restaurant, if her girls take her there later, she tends to really enjoy it and bitch about you never introducing her to something new.
Ms. TOO MUCH INFORMATION- is the girl who tells you way too many of her issues on the first date. She is pretty much an Erykah Badu Bag lady. Except it's not always her issues with men, she also feels the need on the first date to tell you the food that gave her that bad case of diarrhea, that time she had the unfortunate rash, or that once a week she has random puss discharges under her arm… eeewwww.
Ms. I HATE BLACK MEN- is confusing because you wonder sometimes why she bothered coming on the date with you since she spends most of the night telling you how all Black men, and therefore soon enough you, ain't shit, ain't never gonna be shit, and etc. The funny part about this chick is that upon closer examination most of these women have never been done wrong by a man, they just watched a few too many of the wrong episodes of Oprah.
Ms. CLAIRE HUXTABLE- is the girl who grew up watching the Cosby show and wants that ultimate power couple thing. The issue is that she pretty much can't hear anything you say outside of where you went to school and what kind of job you have. These girls will consistently date men that they hate because they have the right background and they believe they will look like a great couple to their friends out there.
Ms. SECOND MOTHER- is the girl that nags the shit out of you from day one about all types of ignorant shit. Particularly money. First off all, NEVER ask a man if he can afford to take you wherever he is taking you. If his dumb ass takes you someplace he can't afford that is his fault, but generally that is just insulting. Second, don't correct my table manners, particularly when you are wrong. Finally, don't try to correct my diet or how much I drink. I don't know you. You don't have the right to nag me because you are not in my life, relax a touch… (Yeah I really hate this one).
Ms. FAKE EQUALITY- is the woman who wants to fight you over the check. Well not really over paying the check, but paying half. Well not really half, but her part of the check, and no real tip, but I digress. The issue is that she generally tries to act all superior and equal because she paid for her food. It's always a bad sign if the relationship starts on the grounds of not trying to owe nobody nothing. I mean hey, I appreciate the reach like the next man, but if I tell you I got it, I relax. Instead you start to look like a fool arguing back and forth over paying part of the check just so later if things go bad she can say that you never spent no money on her.
Ms. TOO COMFORTABLE- is the girl that comes out on the first date with absolutely no effort to impress you. Wearing flip flops, or plain jeans, or the greased down pony tail, or some other thing that a girl usually doesn't let you see when u first go out. It tends to scare dudes because you figure that no matter how much someone tries to say they are just being themselves, you gotta figure its gonna go down, so if she starts off in flip flops trying to go to dinner, in 6 months she gonna be wearing talking shoes and a doo rag. Just not a good look.
Ms. FAKE BOUGIE- spends all her time name dropping, and trying to high post, but can't really put you up on anything that was not in a rap song first. This is the chick that normally wears ugly ass clothes because of who made them, and keeps trying to get you to take them to high post industry events so she can pretend like she knows people even though she ain't making no moves. The funniest thing about this chick is that she will consistently eat or drink things that she doesn't like just because it's supposed to be hot. Worse downside is if you hang around she will have you dressing like her favorite rapper, and you will never get to ear Harold's again.
Ms. TOO DAMN GHETTO- is the chick that you thought had some sense when u met her, but then you go out and she is the chick ordering "Thug's passions" getting fucked up and dropping it like its hot until she bumps into some folks and ends up cussing them out. It's sad cause she assumes that you are on her level and starts to comment about real basic things like "what's up with all these bougie niggas paying they bills and reading books and shit?' and expects you to cosign. This is generally a nightmare date, unless she is thick. :o)
I am sure this is way too long so obviously I had nothing to do with myself but hey… enoy… :o)
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