Ok so it's the day after Valentine's day, which is a fake ass holiday but what u want, people like it. Personally I don't too much mind Valentine's day, and I use it to show love to a lot of the women in my life who I care about but may tend to neglect for one reason or another. what I can't stand about Valentine's day though it the whole star crossed lover romantic aspect of it. Girls lose their damn mind on Valentine's day, so a negro like myself usually stays real low key on V-day because my experience has taught me at a great price that one does not have a causual date on Valentine's day. Just doesn't happen. Of course as quickly as I had figured that out I hadn't figured out that u should also not have real deep conversations. See the number one problem that I always get into with girls is that I am a cynical realist and I pretty much say what's on my mind. Girls don't want to hear what's on your mind that want to hear what they want to hear. In fact they want it so much that unless you say something so jarringly opposite of what they want to hear that it shocks them awake, they will translate whatever you said into what they wanted it to be. But actually that is a tangent, the issue is about keeping it real when you talk.
Case in point, the hardest thing for me to do is give someone a compliment. Not because I don't want to, but to me compliments always just sound fake. I mean when you pick a girl up, even if she looks nice, I feel bad about telling her because I figure I just sound corny doing it. The issue is on the opposite side, that I also don't believe compliments. I know the days I am looking good or when I ahve done something well, and I am perhaps overly aware of my flaws... Therefore whenever I am complimented on anything i tend to be looking for the bullshit. Particularly if it is anything more than the little polite not quite a compliment thing. So basically, I got into bullshit because I was stuck in one of my many conversations where I am psycho analyzed by a girl who doesn't know shit about me, and they come to the conclusion that my problem with relationships is that "I don't know what I want." My response was, "i know what I want, I am not in a relationship yet because I have not yet convinced myself to settle." DEEZAM, that was a mistake. I got called all types of Ego dawgs and the rest of it, but in my defense there are two things. 1) When i was talking about settling, I wasn't talking about in a real shallow way, I meant particularly the fact that every dude I know in a marriage is very clear that the only way a marriage works is if she is number 1 and all else follows. Since I am not there yet, I pass. But 2) Even if I was on some shallow shit, why get so upset about someone saying they are settling. I am sorry I believe that is all a relationship is. You are not with your ideal person, no one is, you may like them, you may have a lot in common, but if you are telling me there is not one thing different between the person of your dreams and the person you are with I am convinced that you are either a liar or insane. There is no middle ground on this one. See to me, life would be so much easier if you could tell the truth. "Hey, you're cool, let's be cool and see what happens" Why I gotta pretend like I am in love or infatuated or all that shit? To be fair, my biggest problem is that the things that infatuate me are prolly not very healthy or moral, and its not like I would marry that anyway. (case in point my whole Keyshia Cole thing... I love her, would never date her, or specifically would never date a broke her, but I digress ;o)
The point is, relax, try a little honesty, the more you make people feed you lines of bullshit in the beginning of a relationship the larger you fall when reality hits. I am not saying you have to keep it as real as, "I am only talking to you cuz u got that donkey..." But stop pretending, and girls stop believing that this dude saw you dropping it in the club and figured you had a nice personality....
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