Right now my life is so defined by my isms... its a little ridiculous i know, but its also a bit hard to let go, so i figured I'd run through a few.
1. My cynicism... I know what you're thinking? who, me? cynical? I know, its a surprise to you all, but nonetheless this more than anything colors my life. I don't trust shit, but then again this is the only thing that makes me work hard... Without my basic distrust of all things and people positive and negative I think I would become complacent, and that just wouldn't help anyone.
2. My Pessimism, is so connected to my cynicism, let's just say I have quite the feeling of impending doom. Like now, things are actually going pretty well, in fact so well that I am bracing myself for that inevitable drop, or could it be that after all the time of working and bullshit, I am on the karmic upswing that is just getting me back to my basis point? which leads me to...
3. My Optimism, which is strange I am sure, to be simultaneously an optimist and pessimist, though I figure I must be at some point optimistic because I continue trying to do shit under the feeling that something will work out or I will make it happen, even though I think I try to depress my hopes with pessimism, or maybe, I am just a fraud.
4. My realism, is kind of a combination or how I explain my pessimistic optimism, as that I have convinced myself sort of that it was written and it will be as it will be. Therefore I just try to see things as they are and not have too many expectations. Of course my realism informs my decisions and the directions that I take which I then explain as
5. My pragmatism, which is basically my accepting that things will likely work out a certain way so not to really jump out on too many ledges because adult life is not really compatible with too many dreams and flights of fancy... at least that is what I am told which is why I have quite a few Peter Pan moments in life.
6. My Neuroticism (yeah its not a word, I don't think :) however this blog explains that I actually am a bit (or more than a bit neurotic since this really is how I think.... Fortunately I test well and I can front like I am cool enough so I get over instead of being sorta woody allenish. However, a mind that spins off of all these ideas and thoughts which leads his life, in ways that I (fortunately for you) did not provide examples of would naturally lead to...
7. My alcoholism to quiet the voice in my head since I don't smoke ism....
:o) I keeed,, I keeeeed, no interventions por favor...
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