Father's Day 6-19-06

Yesterday was Father's Day, and you know we tried to hold it down, but I must admit that Father's Day is like the saddest damn excuse for a holiday in the Black Community that one has ever seen.  Case in point WGCI had a Father Day "celebration."  It gets the quotes cause it was trifling as hell.  Like the mother's Day celebration was a big ass gospel brunch where we all say thank you to our wonderful mothers.  The Father's Day event, feature Les Brown telling fathers to ask for forgiveness and atonement for being trifling in their children's lives.  To prove this he mentions that his daughter that is grown that he only met nine years ago will be there and that through forgiveness the Black family can move on. 

Ok, I get it, some dudes aint shit, they get a girl pregnant and bounce, but really there are more than 5 black dudes who are fathers to their kids.  Why is it that my entire life I have never been to any fathers day thing that was all positive and saying thanks for being there, whether you were the biological father or just the grown ass man father figure in someone's life, instead of dwelling on the deadbeats.  I mean we get it, some dudes aint shit, but can a good father get his shine?  You don't hear mothers days being filled with stories of bad mothers so what's the deal?  Also a very serious issue that people need to address particularly in our community is what are the classifications?  There is more to the story than straight trifling dudes and perfect husbands.

Doing what I do in work, I know that sometimes, as hard as it may seem the best thing for a man to do is to just write the check and stay out of the way.  If the mother has moved on, and the kid is comfortable are you really the bigger man by making the child an outcast from what is currently his family by trying to prove a point a few weekends out the year?  On another side, how much stress is a man supposed to take over a mistake?  If you are not married and you have a kid you have to decide early if you are really going to try and raise a child together while being apart.  This does not mean that one party can or should cut and run, but 18 years of getting screamed at because he let the kid have some ice cream when momma wouldn't have, or let him see a particular movie, or brought him home a couple of hours late isn't healthy for anyone either.  I am not trying to shift the blame like all brothers are misunderstood but sometimes we need to remember that life isn't always black and white, and the majority of brothers out here are not people with no sense of responsibility, yeah there are some but for many its a struggled choice.  If we acknowledge that Black America isn't just filled with bad male apples then maybe we can celebrate the husbands and fathers without reservation sometimes, with the big piece of chicken and the basketball game instead of celebrating him by making him sit through another diatribe about how he is basically trifling we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop...