Those that know me have heard me bitch about one of the BAINS of my job which is known as "Baby Momma Court." (* Warning while this is not meant to be offensive to any single parents I really can't tell what makes people catch feelings, but dammit, if you act like some of these bastards you need some get right) Now for those of you that don't know, there is an entire separate building for child support issues with people have who children out of wedlock. If you were married it's handled in the Daley center, if not we go to Baby Momma Court. Now let me tell you. Baby Momma court is the MOST HORRIBLE Court in the World. Let me tell you that shit is like real life Muary Povich and Jerry Springer together. The DNA results, the fights, shit is crazy. The sad thing is that there are some cases that are important, some times the courts are what is necessary for the best interests of the childs, unfortunately those days are few and far between. As for the issues... its just a few points.
1. The people in Baby momma court were usually in relationships. See what I have found is that the hit it and quit it accidental preganancies usually don't go to court. The dude usually doesn't know he has a kid and the woman is not mad so she figures why fuck with dude. He ain't got shit, and the last thing I want is some dude fucking with me on my child's birthday. However what this means is that almost all the cases in Baby Momma Court are Highly Emotional which means they last ALL FUCKING DAY. and the problem is that this shit ain't law. There is no form of evidence in existence that can determine who should get the lil bastard THIS weekend. Absolutely None. so that means we have to come to an agreement which means I am stuck in that mutha for HOURS. Also the fact that people are in relationships means that they are MAD. I mean completely pissed off. This bothers me because someone comes in talking about how completely the other isn't shit. My response (to myself) usually being "well you were the one fucking them so obviously you thought they had something." However discretion says I keep that to myself. Nonetheless, you know that the only reason your ass is paying so much money to ahve me fight with this chick/ dude is because you are mad they are with someone else. Hell that is when 90% of the cases start, when the baby momma or daddy got a new one. it's like "Oh shit, you replacing me, I'ma take your ass to court for visitation."
2. People don't realise that Court is an all or nothing deal. Once yo ass comes to court talking about his drug problem and her whoring, all the professionals involved know that neither of you should really have the damn kid, but we can't really do that. Still people will fight and fight and sling all types of mud, and then when you start doing an actual agreement which spells out EVERYTHING down to what car you can use to pick the kids up and the exact zone of time for kids to be dropped off and notice for any deviiation of plans as well as emergencies people start bitching about how they are grown and dont need the court in their shit. No, yo ass is not grown, grown folks could figure out visitation without having me argue about the fact that you don't want his new wife to talk to your child EVER. and how he needs to take off work to pick the child up for visitation because you don't want to meet that new Bitch. Or how we have two parents who purposely scheduled birthday parties for the kid at the same time to fuck each other over. It's plain tiring. So since you are on that duymb shit we have to spell out EVERY DAMN THING in the order. Of course this is problematic too.
3. Because once a lot of these bastards get a court order they want to run to the police for every violation. Now yes, police can enforce court orders, however, if dude is 15 minutes late dropping off the child have the police come over and drag the child away from their father is NEVER a good idea. People are severly fucking up their kids because they want to call the police everytime a provision of the court order gets violated. Let me explain, this is why we have court, you need to file a rule to show cause. What's that, don't want to pay $1000 in legal fees to fuck with your ex over the child watching television a little late when they called first? Then leave that shit the fuck alone... Damn....
4. A few answers to questions: No I can't make him visit his child. No you can't withould visitiation because he isn't paying child support. No locking up a person paying child support is never a good idea because they will likely lose their job. No, I can't make her itemize what she spends your money on. No, that sex tape you have of her is not going to get you custody. Hell your ass is in it with her. Dumb ass, please tell me that you did not demand she take a drug test when you are still getting high your damn self and you used to get high together. Order of Protection are not toys.
5. Make sure that is your damn kid. I wish I could explain the number of times a dude has come in their ready to fight for custody and what not just to find out after the blood test that it aint his. Sadder still is that the judges barely flinch. It's like, "sucker, should've checked before you started paying that loot. You knew you didn't know where she was most nights."
6. Other thing is what is the deal with folks have babies with these UGLY muthafuckas. I mean i don't want to be mean and everyone is beautiful is Jesus's eyes, but shit. some couples you sit there and wonder what the hell happened? I mean how did we get here? Its nuts. It's like all the other craziness gets amplified because the basic shit doesn't make sense. Like how did we get here. But hey no judgment.
Now with all of this, is there any wonder that the kids are FUCKED UP. Be damn adults. I respect my friends who do what they have to do, they have kids but they take care of their kids realising that if the other dude is trifiling, while they may want them to act better, there is nothing positive to come from dragging everyone in and out of court over dumb shit. They also realise that there is no point putting your kids in the middle of your shit. I mean being a parent isn't easy but its easy to tell when you are thinking about your child and when you are not. And that count for Mother's fighting the broke ass father for his $40 a month as well as the Father who really needs to consider stepping back a little. If you are not married, there is a limit to how much you can both be equal parents for the child. They can know you but sometimes stability is important. Once parties start getting married if your ass is stopping the step father/ mother from taking "your child" to disney world with the rest of their family you aint shit. There I said it... After all if the mother or father really is trifling, the kid will figure it out. Trust...
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