Ok, so the fact is that a lot of the ignorant shit I write sort of depends on what type of relationship you are in. Obviously standards are different in a marriage than when you first start dating. I mean hell if you and your man want to sit around and drink frozen Midori Sours, that is all good. (I would hope the man wouldn't do that shit in public unless you were already married but hey...)Fact is that no matter what rules or ideas anyone has, if they like the person they will do whatever they damn well please and put up with whatever as long as its worth it to them...
The problem of course comes in when people start taking all sorts of relationship liberties, when they are not in a serious relationship, because no matter how much you hang out or whatever you do if the person is just not that into you there are no wins for certain cocky behavior. I will tell you for real, there is a thin line between really cute and really corny or annoying, and it all depends on how much you are in to that other person. I really don't want you to be that person that gets snapped on as a habitual line stepper because you were assuming it was deeper than it was, up here eating up some womans food that is just putting up with you. Or to be that person calling folks pet names in public when his friends know you as my Bust down... It's like the saddest thing I ever see on MySpace when someone has In a Relationship on their profile, and a couple shot up top, yet the other party has single on there page and not a pic of the other person in sight. Is the second party bogus, or is the first party presumptous? That is the question... Yeah I know sometimes things can be confusing and you don't always know but there are clues as to whether you are in a real relationship or not.
1. How do the friends treat you? I think it goes without saying that if you never met the other persons friends that you are obviously not their girl. However, if you know the cats its a question of how they treat you. Like in most circumstances if dude has really told her boys that he is on you like that they sort of give you a little space and are just real polite because they know that almost no matter what you say or do they are going to give you a pass unless its enough to cut off ties with their boy. I mean they will be friendly and nice, but in general they will keep things a lot more PG or vanilla then they do with normal girls because you are in a protected class. No offense but its not cause you are that cool, or anything else, and particularly for some girls, don't think that your little asshole personality tendecies are cute because your man's friends don't cuss you out. Hell if the dude is really serious about you his friends take bullshit off of your friends as well, but that also doesn't mean that these dudes just are impressed with your asshole tendencies. They prolly just talk shit behind your (and your mans) back. If y'all break up, all bets or off, and if you were enough of a jerk some cats will be looking for a chance to snap on you in public. Yeah its childish... I accept that.
2. If your interaction only ends with sex, and usually after 2am. Despite what I ahve said about dudes lying to themselves if they sleep with a woman too many times and cuddle and all the rest about being in a relationship. The fact is that it is a dysfunctional relationship, but they are not that in to you. If you don't have phone conversations that end with something other than when that night you or they are coming over. You don't IM, or email, or shit, and you never hang out, don't confuse sex for a relationship. It's funny because these are the girls who will always get the bright idea one night when they are getting the 2am call during their time of the month to just show up expecting to sit on your couch and watch a movie and cuddle for the night... When exactly have we ever done that? If we have never hung out that is quite the ridiculous assumption.
3. For dudes, the fact that you are spending money on her with reckless abandon does not make you her man. No matter what you did. My homegirl told me about a dude who got pissed becvause he figured that since they did saturday errands together, after they had gone to a couple of dinners they were in a relationship. You just can't be assume shit like that, particularly based off of those facts. I mean if the woman wants a steak she may very well take one. Hell, girls have an amazing ability to believe that guys randomly just like to take them out with no ulterior motives (note: that shit is not true). But you have to check the clues, if you are always introduced as my friend or my homey, or my guy, don't be surprised if you one day you think you are on a date and she gives her number to some dude that approaches her (which is a little bogus) or you see her out on an actual date... You really have no position to snap homey...
Point is you really are never going to just strong arm someone into being into you, even if there are nice for a while or have let their guilt overcome them you really need to be easy until there has been some clear vocalization of the fact that both sides are all in. If someone wants to lie about that one, hey all insanty is justified...
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