Just so you can understand it unless you didn't understand it before. There is absolutely positively no way to be cool when you are in love. Suck it up, that is the facts, but for dudes, you got to just be man enough to love your woman.
See the fact is that in the Black community especially being cool is fairly equated with being hard. In general there is a basic level of mysogyny that exists, not just in rap music but that is generally a part of being cool. It's all about I don't love these hoes, or I am not really affected, or I am on my own shit. However, that just ain't that in love shit.
It's always funny when I am out with dudes and somebody can't hang out with the guys because he has to go hang out with his girl. But notice how that is put, he HAS to hang with his girl. When in fact is he WANTS to hang with his girl. He prefers to hang with his girl over y'all sweating ass negroes, but he ain't gonna say it. Nope, he gotta act like he is on punishment. But that's fine, all dudes have been there we play along.
Of course what's worse is when the girl ahs completely changed the dude and he has been forced into these public displays and he tries to act like he can make being with his girl cool in the old fashion way. Case in point, Jay-Z and Nas. both of these two are out here trying to act like they are still the same hard street cats that they once were and that some kind of way they are pimps being in songs with their women. Of course the issue is no matter how much you want to play it off and she talks about being freaky with you, if that is your wife, you're not actually pimping her now are you? But that's cool, just accept the fact that you are a bit soft. Nas is actually the one that brings this out of me with Kelis's new "Blindfold" video. He is so trying to act like he is still cool and hard with his new album coming out, though he knows his woman ain't the type to take all that bullshit. The only way to make it better is to just man up and admit you like your girl. It's cool, we all got to grow up sometime. But you will never be cool in the same way. Accept it and move on.
As for ladies, two things, number one, have baby steps with your dude because its hard. He may actually love you and be down, but its real hard for a man to let go of being cool around his boy, give him a little leeway as long as he generally is acting right. It takes some time to realize that you ahve given up one part of being cool in life. The other reason is that there really is no way for a woman to be cool in love neither. Society is cool with a woman trying to whip her man into shape, or whatever, but see how mch your friends like you when you are dissing them to sit up under some dude, or how much they like you waxing on about how much you love that negro's dirty draws... That's right, nobody want to hear that. It's like that song "Chante's got a man" nobody really wanted to hear that shit... when it aint you, you don't want to hear that shit, even though you may be happy if it is one of your friends that is super happy, so that is more reason to take it easy on your man when he has trouble adjusting.
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